How to make it work with your Ex ??
In fact getting back with an Ex is not easy, you broke up for a reason, but sometimes you have to give love a second chance, basically if you really want to make it work things will work out as much as you're willing to. You can make it up with your former flame . When you get back together with a former love, there's no way to know whether it will end up being the best decision of your life or just go up in flames all over again. After all, it's one of the biggest relationship no-nos in the book. But sometimes, giving it a shot is the best thing you can do for yourself, so that no matter what happens afterward, you don't have to live with a single "what if."
Here's what to make it work with your Ex :
1# Don't bring the past back :
If you're getting back together and trying to make things work you have to let go of everything that happened in the past , past resentments and fights that never really get resolved are bound to come up, but when that happens try to find ways to move past them, Don't bring back what you have left behind, it isn't going to help you to look towards the future, it's not easy I know , hard to ignore his past lies or how he cheated on you , but when you avoid bringing the past back and start afresh things will work out for good. Bringing up old issues can make it hard to truly move forward as a couple and you will end up breaking up again.
2# Communicate :
There would be stumbling blocks so you should communicate, in order to keep things running smoothly talking is the key ,if you're going to start out all over again, talk about your past problems all at once , put some rules, set new boundaries, talk about what to do and what you shouldn't do,make sure you're both on the same page and all your doubts and questions are dealt with already.
3# Build on the past :
If your relationship has grown a bit stale, then there is a good chance that things haven’t been perfect between you and your partner in other ways too. To freshen up a relationship, a good place is to start is to both accept that the past is in the past and that this is a new start. Put aside the fights that you have had, or the disappointments, and start working together to put things right. Build on the past and leave the heartache behind .
4# Put the past behind you :
Most relationships harbor some resentment, and it's difficult to let that go after it ends. You and your ex won't soon forget the personal sacrifices you made for one another, or even minor annoyances you suffered.
You may even hold onto grudges from the breakup itself. It's important to remember that if your goal is to be friendly or civil, you should act accordingly. This could be as simple as a polite greeting when you see one another in public, or offering to help when you hear they needs it.
Your ex isn't going to be a different person when you two reconnect. There will be inevitable triggers that will make you want to rehash old arguments. Just remember: now that you're broken up it's time to put past arguments aside. They're probably no longer relevant anyway.
5# Let the old relationship die :
Like you, the biggest mistake most men and women who still love each other make is get back together right after a break-up. They mistakenly assume that because the feelings of love are still there and still strong, they can make it work. Most don’t do a postmortem on the relationship, don’t try to change anything and some don’t even talk about what happened. They just get back together and continue from where they ended.
Others fail to get their ex back because they try to get back together in the very first few weeks of contact. They get so excited that the other person is responding and mistakenly assume that means he or she wants to get back together. They are surprised when the other person starts distancing, asks for space, or says they are not ready to jump right back in a relationship.
Those that use “No Contact” as a strategy to get their ex back think that if they went away for a few weeks or months, and came back things will work out because enough time has passed — they can now begin afresh. Those that use “No Contact” as a strategy to get their ex back think that if they went away for a few weeks or months, and came back things will work out because enough time has passed — they can now begin afresh.
Most of the time those “fresh starts” never materialize because people who tend to be more drawn to “No Contact” also have primitive relationship skills for getting their relationship needs met by a partner. They create walls in order to survive instead of learning how to negotiate mutual agreements that further their interest. The only way they know how to take care of themselves is to leave, “I’ve got to get out of here”.
6# Start all over again :
For there to be a new beginning, don’t try to become a couple again immediately. Go through the loss and grief process together or separately, as you decide and is acceptable to the other. In my experience, couples who go through the grief experience together have a better chance than those that do it separately, or someone who insists “this is what I need” without any consideration for what “the relationship needs.”
Then begin dating each other like two new people meeting and getting to know each other again. That’s why the Book is called “Dating Your Ex” and not “Get Your Ex Back”.
7# It’s about starting a NEW relationship with your ex.
The old relationship is over. Now you start a new relationship but with someone you dated before.
You start like when you met. Texts, phone calls, dates etc. But for it t be a real a real “new beginning” of a new relationship, your ex has to see, feel and think something is different, something is new.. don't bring the past back, especially when you argue the old habits should be different !
Be new you , you should be improved version of yourself and work to bring something new to the relationship.
You also have to have an increased awareness while working to produce different results. The necessary ingredients are awareness, focus, action, consistency and persistence.
If you’ve honestly changed — become a better version of yourself, acquired new beliefs, habits, interests, relationship skills and tools – and behave like a better version of yourself, there is NO WAY you can have the same relationship again.