Is he an abuser ??

Sadly , abusive relationships started perfectly, the abuser person is somebody perfect, amazing and flawless , it takes always time to recognize that you're a victim of an abusive relationship, it takes an average number act of violence  before the woman leave . So why not plan to avoid dating an abuser in the first place, so to detect this too early you need those 10 signs to recognize the abuser before it's too late :

1# jealousy :

Every abuser will say that jealousy is a sign of love, while in fact it's proof of insecurity lack of trust and possessiveness..
If you're dating a man who's jealous over everything, possessive, calls constantly, it seems cool at first because it seems like he cares, but later you will find out this guy you're dating is a psycho! He's asking who's you're talking to! Whom you have spoken or seen during the day , he will accuse you with flirting or cheating ! The jealousy will progress, he won't let you dress like you want because he's afraid other people will flirt you , he doesn't allow you to work because you may meet somebody new!  He's all over you all the time , leave no space for you to breath . As time goes on , those behaviors become more severe and more aggressive, and serve to dominate you and control you. As the behaviors progress the situation will get worse.

2# His expectations :

An abuser is going through life feeling entitled, he expects you to meet all his needs , to take care of him emotionally and financially, and to be servant all the time. He's expecting you to do everything and he's not going to help .The abuser is a lost individual looking for a shelter , somebody to lean on, someone who can do it all for him.

3# Isolation :

He will attempt to isolate you by severing your ties to outside support, he will accuse your friends and family to be trouble makers and to keep your relationship safe he must isolate you from them! He will try to block all your access. He will make sure you're alone and weak . The abuser wants you all to himself. He will not understand that you have a life outside his box . He will try to control your circle from the start , so be careful if your current partner start giving himself the freedom the criticize your entourage and try more to get involved in everything! It's a sign you're dating an abuser . So if you go somewhere or do something without their permission, he will punish you later, insulting you, threatening you or worse .Just expect anything from him.

4# He's controlling you :

The abuser will try to control you , his excuse to his behaviors results from concern about your safety , he will tell you , you don't know enough about the world and he wants to take control of your life to make sure you're safe , he will get angry on you if you're late, or dressing way sexy , you look happy or something looks unfamiliar, he will start questioning where have you been and with whom ????  For whom you look sexy ??? Why you looked happy / anxious !!! The abuser behaviors will get worst with days ,just don't expect him to change someday when he gets to know you well , he will trust you enough and those meaningful questions and behaviors will stop !!!!  No he won't , he will control your life decisions, your money , your work , and even your thoughts! He will also pressure you to commit, quickly ! He will say he's find he's soulmate and he won't could live without you. It's a way to enter your life from other door and control you and control your decisions .

5# He is blaming everybody and everyone for every failure in his life :

The abuser will try to convince you that he's in this situation because of others !!! All his problems is because certain people, they have been always an obstacle to his own success and achievements. He will use feelings to manipulate you as his victim, his Ex has cheated on him ," if you ever do this to me I will die" ! Or " you're hurting me , and I just can't take this pain away "!!!!  He will make you feel like he's easily insulted, he's a sensitive person but the world is so cruel on him ! He's the victim of every decision his family has made and he out the blame on them ! The abuser will always find somebody to blame... He's just blaming everything on someone else. This person is irresponsible and never admits his faults.

6# Violent Sex :

He will have sex against your will , or he will act like he's mad or feeling bad when you refuse to have sex with him , he will try to make you feel guilty about it like he's sad because he feels he's not enough for you and you deserve someone better!! With An abuser you will find yourself satisfying his needs , regardless of your needs and your desires , he will demand sex all the time, when you feel asleep or when you're tired or ill.. he will have sex the way he likes and all you can do is fellow his lead !
The abuser is somebody violent when it comes to bed , or violent before he ever get into your panties, he will try to hook up with you , getting mad when his plans fail , and act so agressive and violent! You will not believe it !!!!

7# verbal abuse :

An abuser will say every cruel and hurtful words without taking into consideration your feelings or how should you feel about that . He will try to put you down, cursing you and trying to make you feel like you're unable to be a whole person without him. He will humiliate you , trying to make fun of you, using sarcasm or teasing to put you down. He will say he's joking, and sometimes he will cover his mistakes by blaming you .

8# the abuser is a needy person :

He always needs help, emotional support, somebody around all the time to wipe away his tears ,or a shoulder to lean on almost the whole time, he's a poor sad man, a bleeding heart type and nobody understands him !
The abuser will express his feelings openly expecting you to help and fix and make it all right for him .

9# He's an alcoholic / drug user :

Many abusers are alcoholics, smokers and drug users , their addiction leads to erratic and bad behaviors, and they will blame it on alcohol later.
If your partner is a hidden abuser but he's a a drug or alcohol addict just be aware .

10# Control you through emotions :

An abuser is a manipulative person with hundred million ways to put you under control til damage you physically, emotionally and mentally !! He will sulk, threatening to leave ,and punish you emotionally for certain things he just doesn't like ! He will try to make you feel guilty if you ever try to do yourself good . At times , the abuser will seems like a good loving person til you forgive them the abuse will begin again.

Being in an abusive relationship Is horrible, leaving with fears is horrible too , things will start out from verbal abuse to physical. At first the abuser might start cursing, telling or screwing you, then he might pull your hair, push you or grab you so hard, then things will get worse . Abuse can take many forms so don't neglect the warning signs and get off this relationship before it's too late .