What you do when you spot him cheating ???

Being cheated on in a love and committed relationship is incredibly horrible, its was a horrible moment when I found out and I know about his infidelity and the horrible moments it fellowed it comes to be one of the most difficult phases in life. I have been dating a man for more than three years.. and he has cheated on me three times, different woman, different situation, and a thousand excuses! It was bad and no word could ease that pain, actually it's sad how many women has been through this! When someone you love and trust could do such thing to you , you end up feeling broken by all means. I was feeling foolish to have trusted him , I was angry and embarrassed, usually,  we end up feeling furious and have alot of hate to our own selves.. I was really broken, and seeing the world from a new perspective: cruel and dark.

Once this phase of my life has finally passed , gradually and slowly, and he become a distant memory, I realized the mistakes I have done through the cheating phase! and I realized I could handle the situation differently and I could save myself from years of heartache and pain, because I didn't give myself a proper chance to heal, and I could have been more realistic about the situation in general.

So Here's 6 things you should do when he cheated on you :

1# Control your reactions : 

In my personal experience, throughout the 3 different cheating stories, I overreacted, like a crazy! I feel embarrassed to remember, but I cried, i begged why you has done this to me, and please don't do this again!! I talked about the years we had together and the love we felt for each other ... I couldn't control myself Everytime, my responses, my reactions was terrible, because once you actually have to go through it, you realize how horrible you once reacted! You have to calm yourself! Sometimes don't react in front of him ! Don't let yourself look pathetic and weak ! It's all has done so no need to react like a fool.

2# Dumb him :

If you didn't dumb him, he will think you will never do and he will do it and cheat again and you won't go! I'm honest , trust me, when I didn't Dumb my boyfriend immediately after it happened, he took it as sign of weakness and he thought I loved him enough to stay whatever he does! In my mind I was thinking I should give it time and I grant a second chance to our relationship and he took it for granted, but inside,  forgiving him and stay made me feel really upset with myself, because if you wanna punish him, dump him ! If he worth it he will work it out and make it up​ to you , if he doesn't worth it he will go his way and you will be saved from the pain ! When I forgave I have lost myself respect and he didn't respect me either so he cheated once again! It's all dead and gone now, but I regretted not dumping him the moment I found out ,i could have saved me years of drama and heartache. In fact ,any attempts of forgiveness and any second chances automatically mean that you're strong but they will cheat for a number of different reasons. Some men will repeat it again, in fact, some relations aren't able to recover from this incident.. sometimes it's better to let go from the very start.

3# Don't hold it down, talk about it :

 Feeling so humiliated means not to keep this to yourself, don't keep the hurt and the pain, it will slowly damage you inside, it won't help, but it will only cause you more anger and you will torture yourself by being silent and keep it inside, tell a friend, talk about it, a part of healing is set yourself free by talking, he has cheated, the shame is on him , it's never your fault, you will be feeling like a burden had lifted off your chest , you need to talk !

4# Don't stalk :

The moment you found out, you will feel an overpowering urge to know who the other women was !! In fact,  you shouldn't look to find stuff gonna hurt you even worse ! Don't stalk his social network, I know you wanna see how she looks like, you wanna see pictures and what she's doing in life and why he choose her to cheat on you !!! You will start comparing yourself with her, and you will go nights wide awake thinking why she??? Is she better than you ??? Just don't let this happen! You will end up feeling like crap, staking him will make you feel even worse. 

5# Don't blame yourself :

The moment i found out, I started to feel incredibly stupid, ugly and worthless, i was blaming myself for his act of infidelity, saying it was my mistake, thinking of every word I said, remembering everything I did, searching for the " cause " of " His" cheating!! In my mind, it was me who let the relationship get to this point, not realizing the things that were going on behind my back, i was thinking Am I not good enough??? Was there something i could have done to avoid this ???? I was sitting for hours wondering, analyzing things and I ended​ up convinced that his cheating is something I'm feeling ashamed of. Matter of fact, this completely wrong, because usually Relationship problems are result of both actions of both partners , but never completely your fault!!! It never means you're not good enough, never means you're ugly or worthless. I had realized this at the end! It never your mistake! So never blame yourself.


6# YOU STILL WANNA MAKE IT WORK????

Ask why this ever happened!?? Is it your mistake??? What did you do ?? Or is it his problem? In my previous relationship, my ex boyfriend has cheated on me because his addictive behavior was cheating!  For him cheating feels good, it provides him sense of comfort and pleasure, he can't admit it, he always find excuses for his acts of infidelity.. but He's addiction was sneeking around girls inna relationships.  Listen to them,  help them in order to make them fall for him.. Then leave.. Simply!!! Exactly like what his Ex has done! He was a sick psychopath!! 

If you're truly want to give your relationship another shot, you need to stop putting yourself through the torture of all the details and start dedicating your time towards figuring out where you both went wrong and why and how to correct it, take your time to heal and process. There are some people who don't stop to grieve or waste their time on someone who isn't worth it, and I advice you to be this kind of people!! Because wasting time and energy on someone who has cheated on you is a real waste ! Know your worth and Make yourself know how to get over it, being stuck with pain and memories won't help you to process. Don't Force yourself but give it the time to heal, don't pretend like everything is okay, don't pretend like nothing happened, live the moment and learn from it then leave it behind and move on. I really advice you to move on as far as you can, don't give him the power to do you wrong again, because A CHEATER ALWAYS A REPEATER!!



##  TALK ME:

If you ever experienced being cheated on, share your own story , I wanna know how did you get out that dark ,and hard phase. Tell me your feelings and how did you get over it in the comments Down below.

Source : Google search.

Popular posts from this blog

Why you should never contact your Ex????

How to know you're dating​ a Gold digger!?